Quiet Desperation

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Replace “men” with “adult humans” and these words seem truer today than when written by Henry David Thoreau in 1854.

They well describe the feeling that we are not living up to our full potential, that we are living a life that doesn’t fit any more (if it ever did.) Why does this happen?

Our Western culture pushes roles and social rules and expectations onto us from the time we’re born. We are told to strive for success in its various permutations and then happiness will follow (but it rarely does.) As children we are seldom encouraged or permitted to fully explore our natural interests and preferences, and we eventually lose the connection to what our true selves love to do and be.

And some day, through abrupt life crisis or via slowly creeping doubts, we realize we are living a life that is not of our own natural inclination. We become “desperate” – deeply unhappy – but may not know how to articulate what’s missing and usually have no idea what to do about it.

I certainly know this from personal experience. I became very uncomfortable in a seemingly successful, financially lucrative profession in a geographical location that I didn’t feel aligned with. I knew what I wasn’t, and what I didn’t want – but was terrified of the unknown. Whose story have I been living? Who and how shall I be instead?

This is probably often the cause of the notorious “midlife crisis.” There are many responses possible, most of them destructive and unhealthy. Or we just stay stuck, too fearful of change.

A healthier option is to seek assistance from someone trained to help you reconnect to your deeper, hidden self. I don’t believe anyone can tell you what your life purpose is – only you can discover that – but talented coaches and other compassionate guides can support you in clarifying your values and desires. Through this process, you can rewrite the narrative of your life and create a True Story to guide your future.

In my case it took an 11-day guided vision quest ceremony to see what I could become and to make initial tentative contact with my wise and wild Soul. I work with my own coach and various teachers and receive guidance from the shamanic realms. The process is never-ending, and very fulfilling.

What part(s) of your life have become unbearably false?

How deep are you willing to go to find what’s been lost?

How far outside the accepted framework are you willing to step, to leave desperation and replace it with meaning and wellbeing?

If you'd like to explore these questions with me, please contact me via the website.